Saturday, April 30, 2005

Breaking: Hard News Replaced by Gigantic Milk Carton 

Damn, Atrios beat me to this. But at least I know I’m not the only one that is absolutely livid about what has become of cable “news.”
CNN now plans to become the 24 hour local news channel, nationalizing every local interest story. Car chases, missing young white women, cats up trees, ...

... and, what must the families of the "4 soldiers killed in Iraq today" think of this being CNN's "top story of the day" and every day...
Iraq is a bloody fucking mess, the Pentagon absolved itself of responsibility for Abu Grhaib war crimes, and the Republican Majority is an undisguised corporate-Christian thug-ocracy. But in the alternate reality that is CNN et al., the story about the woman who got cold feet and bailed out on her wedding is front page.

CNN: The Most Trusted Name in News about Missing White Brides, Kidnapped White Children, and the Michael Jackson Trial.

A commenter an Atrios just nails it when he sums up CNN’s programming as “rife with bullshit, wide-eyed wonder at everyday occurrences, and Republican talking points.”

That is precisely what CNN is -- the other cable whores as well.


Friday, April 29, 2005

Situation Normal 

No mass arrests of the Bush Crime Family to report.

An a-political country still slumbers.

Have a good weekend.


Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Another Fucking Coverup 

I am so sick of abominations like this being relegated to blips on the left blogosphere.

This is indefensible.

Where is the god damn outrage?

What kind of society allows this stuff to continue with no accountability?



Dipshit’s Man-date with an Oily Stone-Age Theocrat 

Question: At what point do the redneck fucktards in this country wake up to this shit?

Answer: Never. Ever.


Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Busy Today 

But make sure to read the guy who gets paid to blog. There’s a lot of shit going on today!


Monday, April 25, 2005

The Bulldog is Back! 

Oooh, I love this!

Guckert made more than 200 appearances at the White House during his two-year tenure with the fledging conservative websites GOPUSA and Talon News, attending 155 of 196 White House press briefings. He had little to no previous journalism experience, previously worked as a male escort, and was refused a congressional press pass.

Perhaps more notable than the frequency of his attendance, however, is several distinct anomalies about his visits.

Guckert made more than two dozen excursions to the White House when there were no scheduled briefings. On many of these days, the Press Office held press gaggles aboard Air Force One—which raises questions about what Guckert was doing at the White House. On other days, the president held photo opportunities.

On at least fourteen occasions, Secret Service records show either the entry or exit time missing. Generally, the existing entry or exit times correlate with press conferences; on most of these days, the records show that Guckert checked in but was never processed out.

In March, 2003, Guckert left the White House twice on days he had never checked in with the Secret Service. Over the next 22 months, Guckert failed to check out with the Service on fourteen days. On several of these visits, Guckert either entered or exited by a different entry/exit point than his usual one. On one of these days, no briefing was held; on another, he checked in twice but failed to check out.
100 bucks says the bulldog was “hiding” under KKKarl’s desk — servicing the Master.

Yeah, um, the Secret Service tends not to “process out” male prostitutes exiting the White House via Karl Rove’s secret tunnel at 3 A.M.

Full story here


Sunday, April 24, 2005

Another Milestone 

Ladies and gentleman, we have an authentic Troll from Wingnutistan.

Now, try to be civil. Jihad Jimmy was cordial enough to offer genuine congratulations to me on my one-year blogiversary. He is deeply misguided, in my opinion, but I think he seeks lively right vs. left banter.

(You see, Jimmy, we are quite fucking angry that this cabal of oil-drenched, pig-fucking, homophobic, war-criminal theocrats has seized power in this country by convincing just enough gullible kool-aid guzzling evangelicals and redneck asstards that they are doing the Lord’s work. Of course, it helps that they have a large assist from the Republican Media, a gigantic elephant in the room that you have apparently missed. I just don't want some of the more abrasive lads that come around here to scare you away. We need a troll here.

Anyway, I welcome your comments, so I hope you won't be too offended when I say that the "Gonzo" Republican schtick you attempt on your blog is flat-out ridiculous. Understand this: It is NEVER hip or rebellious to be a Republican. Or a racist. Or a homophobe. Or a theocrat? Dick Cheney is not a countercultural icon; he is the reason countercultures exist. There are no Hunter Thompsons of the right. Remember, Dennis Miller has already tried and failed the “Neocon as Rebel” bit.

That all said, I’m glad you’re here. The door is always open. Tell your friends.)

Jimmy also comments here and here.

Update: Jimmy and his knuckledragging ilk don’t like freeway blogging.

Mission accomplished.


Friday, April 22, 2005


The House just passed the Republican Energy Bill, and 41 Democrats voted for it.

The Bill is replete with goodies for BushCo's buddies in the oil and energy industries (and why the hell not; they're the ones who wrote it).

Oh yes, I still have faith in the Party. Yes, indeedy.

We're gonna win in '06!


Likes to Dope n’ Grope? 

What the heck is going on with Cliff Huxtable?

This one has me genuinely baffled.

Are we sure we’re not in hell.


Thursday, April 21, 2005

A Year of Rage 

That, dear friends, is an authentic Louisville Slugger. And that’s my Talking Bush Doll, which I wish was the real thing. How I’d love to lay the wood on that crooked little bastard.

But on to the matter at hand.

Today is the one-year anniversary of Smithantics.

I can’t believe it’s been a year since my first post. It feels like it’s been a hell of a lot longer, doesn’t it? The Dark Years are passing at an agonizingly slow rate. Do you realize that BushCo is only four months into its second four-year term? Oh my fucking god!

But let’s not foul this magnificent day with that sickness. Today, we must Rejoice!

In preparation for this momentous event, I reviewed the entire Smithantics archives, from those first clumsy posts, through my blogger adolescence, and on to the maturity of my rage.


In any case, crawling into the Smithantics vault was a real eye-opener. A lot of seriously wrong shit has happened over the past twelve months. Yeah, I know that’s pretty damn obvious, but if you get some free time, I recommend poking around the archives. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry.

For your immediate gratification (and for my own self indulgence) I have compiled a Top Ten List of sorts. What follows is a collection of posts, some which I am particularly proud of, some that mark absurd events, and some that just made me laugh. If you have a few minutes, take a trip down bad memory lane.

Last, I really have no idea if there are five regular readers of this blog or fifty, but thanks to all of you who come an visit. And a special thanks to those of you who comment on a regular basis. I envisioned this blog to be a forum for the disgruntled, and I really hope to see more dialogue here as we move forward into the hell of BushCo Mach II. And let’s hope the next year brings the Big Hurt to these cocksuckers. Nothing would make me happier than to chronicle The Downfall.



Here's the Top Ten List (Sorry about any broken internal links).












Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Beyond Dismay 

Despite futile procedural objections by the Democrats, this lying, backstabbing, bullying, unilateralist neocon asshole WILL be the next U.S. representative to the United Nations.

What? The quaint little parliamentary games the self-castrating Dems are playing are going to thwart the will of the Republican Majority?

Of BushCo?

Yeah, right.

And this piece of work.

Do I even want to get started on this misogynistic stone-age shaman? This holy homophobe? This enemy of modernity? This former member of the Hitler Youth? This rationalizer of child rape by priests? (He said “they didn’t pray enough.”)

No, I think I'll stop there.

Oh, and cable news.... Wall-to-wall Papal gushings, with sprinklings of Jacko and other goodies fit for Jerry Springer or Entertainment Tonight.

Stick a fork in us.


Sunday, April 17, 2005

Ain’t Gonna Fake It 

Posting has been light lately for a couple of reasons. First of all, I am adjusting to a new job and the new responsibilities it entails. As I’ve already noted, it’s pretty much impossible for me to blog at work now, and I haven’t been all that motivated to blog at night after some pretty long and grueling work days.

Second, and more significant, I’m getting sick of repeating myself. As I think is obvious by now, this blog is preoccupied mainly with the death of journalism. But how many times and in how many different ways can I say that the MSM is a bad fucking joke? Or that this country is diseased? Or that BushCo is supreme evil? Or that the Democrats are the most infuriating gang of weaklings in political history?

In terms of news coverage, this blog has never been one that attempts to keep up with all the day’s developments. No way do I have time for that. I leave the blow-by-blow coverage to the bloggers who do this for a living –Atrios, Daily Kos, etc.

This is a place for rantings on the political and cultural scene. And I think the content gets pretty mediocre when I post just for the sake of posting. I feel I’m at my best when I take a “Zen” approach to blogging and just let the material come to me. Well, lately it just hasn’t been coming. Maybe it’s because we’re stuck in this sickening status-quo. BushCo’s poll numbers may be in the toilet, but does anyone expect these filthy bastards to lose office before 2008? I sure as fuck don’t. And let’s say Tom Delay does go down. The Republican media will metabolize and shit that story down the memory hole in about a day and a half — if it doesn’t get fully eclipsed by developments in the Michael Jackson trial. Yes, there are the 2006 mid-term elections, but that seems like an eternity from now. And anyway, why should I have any faith that the Democrats won’t lose again? After all, that’s what they do best. God, they are so fucking pathetic.

With that all said, I’m not shutting down the blog. I’m just waiting for events to dictate the content. This Thursday Smithantics will enjoy its one-year anniversary, and I plan to have a special post that day. Also, I’m thinking of ways to shake things up around here. I have one intriguing idea, but I’m still not sure it’ll be workable. In the meantime, I have given posting rights to three or four of you guys. Please don’t hesitate to contribute. More voices are always better. And of course, this blog is a portal to the last bastion of real reporting — the left Web. Keep tuning in to Atrios, Buzzflash, Daily Kos, Alterman, etc. Their voices are indispensable.

See you when inspiration returns.

Or when they arrest the fuckers.

Whichever comes first.


Friday, April 15, 2005

Where Everybody Knows Your Name…. 

No, not that Cheers.

This one.

Oh my God.

Who needs fun Friday when you can read about BushCo painting pesticide on poor colored children.

Hey, at least they got a way cool video cam.

More here.

You really have to hand it to these guys. They never stop upping the ante!


Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Tapped Out 

It's been a long day and I can't thing of anything to say.

What do you guys want to talk about?


Tuesday, April 12, 2005

BushCo’s Butt Boy Hits a New Low 

Jeezus Christ on a crutch, CNN is a fucking embarrassment.

And this Blitzer thing is just a drop in the bucket. I used to watch CNN every morning over breakfast, occaisionally extracting some actual information from the torrent of FOX-lite spewings.

But the network is now UNWATCHABLE.

Ditto MSGOP and all the other alphabet propaganda bureaus that run interference for BushCo.

And to think, CNN used to be a fairly serious news organization.

Now I just watch SportsCenter in the morning.

Somewhere Karl Rove is smiling.


Monday, April 11, 2005

Of Cajun Country and Dead Wizards 

There’s much, much more to N’ahlins than the perpetual state of spring break that is Bourbon Street – namely the inescapable sense of history, the architectural delights, the rich musical heritage, the incredible Cajun and Creole cuisine, and so much more. But I thought this picture captured the essence of our trip, which always seemed to gravitate back to the nonstop street party that is the French Quarter. If you haven’t been to the Big Easy, I highly recommend you make a trip there at least once in your life. Just be prepared to gorge yourself on some of the most fattening and delicious foods you could ever imagine — crawfish etouffee, deep fried oysters, po’ boy sandwiches, red beans and rice, sugar coated-beignets, etc., etc. Seriously, the food, the music, and the partying just kicked our asses. It was a damn good time for the missus and me.

But back to business.

While I wasn’t monitoring the blogs during my vacation, I was reading the paper and watching the news. From what I gathered, last week was non-stop dead-Pope-apalooza.


I’ll probably offend some Catholic/Christian readers here, so I’ll be brief. And anyway, it’s my blog, so I’ll say whatever I damn well please. But if you are a partisan of the Wizard, you may just want to skip the rest of this post.

In my existence, there is no such thing as Holy, and there sure as fuck ‘aint no Holy persons or institutions — like the protection racket for child rapists (i.e., the Catholic Church) claims to be.

So, accordingly, I don’t recognize religious “authority” or mourn the passing of its practitioners. The robed sorcerers of the Catholic Church that claim to be our gatekeepers to the realm of the Great Cloud Being--with their goblets of blood, their wafers of flesh, and the various and sundry spells and talismans with which they poison our world--hold no magic power over me. In fact, they deeply offend me. I wish they would go away to the great dustbin of history and take their vengeful god with them. Oh yes, and they should take with them the scum-sucking Republicans that have cynically attached themselves to the dead Wizard for their own political purposes.

And don’t tell me I’m going to hell.

I’m already there.

Update: Too funny! A remix!


Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Small Snowball 

Ok, I'm really busy at work, but i will take a quick stab at keeping this blog going while our dear Smith is in 'Nahlins.

The news is rather slow, with his Holiness kicking the bucket and the faithful waiting in lines for miles just to catch a glimpse of his husk of a body "in state". However, not even the death of God himself can stop the steamroller that is coming at Tom Delay!

I really think it is gonna happen this time. Everyone seems to be getting the hell out of the Delay Camp and if journalism has taught us anything lately, its that if you report it 27 million times, someone will eventually believe it. Well, call me a believer!

Let's hope that this and this is the small snowball that will eventually topple all our favorite politicians!

Could we eventually see one of the Busheviks get his peepee slapped? Barring another terrorist strike, World War, Homeland Security warning or plaques of locusts, we could be in for some fun.


Sunday, April 03, 2005

On Break 

Following an abbreviated and busy work week, the wife and I will be heading to New Orleans for a vacation. I’ll try to check in from Cajun country, but otherwise it’ll be lights out for Smithantics — unless some of the guest bloggers want to keep things going.

Back later.

Update: Must-read


Friday, April 01, 2005

Political Despair is For Pussies 

Did you come here for liberal bitching and moaning?

You're fired.

This blog is all about The Donald now.

Get used to it or get out.