Friday, April 30, 2004

The Yoda of the Neoconservative Movement  


This mental giant, the chief “intellectual architect” of the fucking disaster into which we find ourselves sinking deeper every day, is clueless as to how many young men and women he has murdered. Perhaps he should take a walk outside of the think tank once in a while—Cheney permitting, of course


The FOX-ification of America 

I realize that most of you are not as media-obsessed as I am—and you may live longer as a result. But, friends, the mainstream media (print and television) have reached an unprecedented level of propagandistic disgrace. It is difficult to overstate crisis we face as a result of this. A free and critical press that strives for objectivity and truth in its reporting is an essential feature of a properly functioning democracy. Today, the mass media advance the undemocratic agenda of big business (i.e., war profiteering and colonial exploitation abroad and the privatization of the public at home).

Don’t just take my word for it. The rich body of scholarly and professional media criticism that exists today (and basic empirical observation) reveals that our mainstream media operate almost exclusively in service of state-corporate power. I am deeply troubled by this phenomenon, and I find it to be the central problem that confronts our democracy today.

But there is hope.

Much of the content of what is now known as the “blogoshpere” focuses on the perilous effects and consequences of a mass media that are a propagandistic vehicle for oligarchic corporate interests. Put simply, it is the corporatized mass media that allows BushCo to thrive, and it is this business-media fortress that progressive bloggers direct their attack. Blogs, such as this one, are a means for authentic free speech, and it is only natural that much of their content is devoted to media criticism, and, by extension the state-corporate-media complex that controls information that dominates the public realm.

So, I’m going to attack the corporate-whoring, BushCo-suckling, war-glorifying media relentlessly here, and I’m going to encourage you to smack down your dumb right wing brother/uncle/coworker the next time he/she starts telling you how Time-Warner/AOL-owned CNN is liberal. I will also provide examples of media whoring and email addresses (howardfineman@aol.com) for the authors, so, if you’re inclined, you can let them know what you think of their shilling for BushCo. I ask you to care about this and get involved.

In my opinion, the best media criticism site is The Daily Howler. Today, The Howler unloads on a mass media fixated on the trivial and stupid. Please check it out; this is a great site.

If you’re interested in a serious examination of the so-called liberal media (SCLM), check out Eric Alterman’s book What Liberal Media? and his must-read daily blog, Altercation.


Thursday, April 29, 2004

Valerie Plame Update (Sort Of) 

Man, I wish this story would shit or get off the pot.


Winning Hearts and Minds 

My mood was starting to pick up today before I saw this.

Warning: Disturbing Iraqi prisoner abuse image.

Gee, why do they hate us?




Ten Worst Album Covers of All Time 

And, oh boy, are they bad

UPDATE: Make sure to click on Next Entry at the bottom of the first page. There's more, and they are downright disturbing!



I’ve been trying to summon the energy to compose a hit piece on FOX asshole Bill O’Reilly, but this Maddox fellow has saved me the effort. This guy is bang on the money.


Bush in 41.2 Seconds 

This is a must-watch (requires sound).


President Sock Puppet 


Courtesy of Buzzflash


Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Portrait of a Media Whore 


This column by Howard Fineman is a classic example of how the corporate media attempts to sell Republican Party talking points as “objective” analysis. On the stage of media whoredom, Fineman is cast as a balanced, straight-down-the middle reporter--a real “fair ‘n’ balanced” guy. The sad thing is that legions of Americans fall for attempted Jedi mind tricks such as these:

Most Americans tend to blame the rise of terrorism here on the eight-year Clinton administration. Bush, without having to say much, was able to play the political victim.

As a political analyst, my first thought was: All this [Iraq war] video is bad for Bush, because it makes his Iraq policy look like a failure. I was wrong, of course. He may pay politically for Iraq at some point, but not right now. For now, it’s still rally ’round the commander-in-chief, if for no other reason than to show that we are not Spain.

Bush has a plan and a vision: His goal is to protect the American homeland by spreading democracy (by military force if necessary) to the cockpit of Islamic fundamentalism. This idea strikes many serious people as naïve and grandiose at best, dangerously imperious and counter-productive at worst. But what, precisely, is the better idea? Kerry certainly hasn’t made that clear. “Winning hearts and minds” sounds nice, but how do you do that these days? Relying on the United Nations sounds good, too, except that the U.N. has little real credibility.

Let’s face it, as a people we tend to like simple answers and strong leaders who propound them. That may be especially true in these, the early years of what is likely to be a long, twilight struggle against terrorism.

So far, his strategy has amounted mostly to: Vote for me, I’m not Bush. That’s not enough, especially if Kerry is seen by most voters the way the BC04 ad portrays him: as a flip-flopping manipulative insider.

I see your eyes glazing over.... You're growing weaker....

Now repeat after me:

"The secular Iraqi dictatorship was the cockpit of Islamic fundamentalism"

"Clinton is responsible for 9-11"

"You like simple explanations"

"The U.N. has little real credibility"

"The Spanish government acts in accordance with the will of the Spanish population and is therefore weak."

"Kerry is a a flip-flopping manipulative insider"

“Bush is a strong and resolute Leader”

“These are not the droids you are looking for”

“You will let us board the Millennium Falcon”


Okay, Sure 



Hey, Kerry! 

“Hey, Kerry” will be a regular feature on this blog until the (presumptive) Democratic nominee decides to commence his campaign.

Huh? He’s already campaigning?

You could’ve fooled me. Last time I checked, a bunch of draft dodgers where converting the decorated war hero into a cross between Jane Fonda and Joseph Stalin.

Hey, Kerry, next time BushCo tries to portray you as soft on defense and unsupportive of the troops, how about you respond with, I don’t know, this.


Puppet Show 



I Hate to State the Obvious 

But can you believe this idiot is the leader of the free world? Boggles the fucking mind.


And look at the god damn mess this fucking dolt and his maniacal handlers have gotten us into.

I knew a Bush II presidency would be bad, but I had no idea.

We are despised by the world.

Militant Islamist hatred is at an all-time high.



The Donald 

Fires Bush!


Out Now! 


Now here’s something excellent to add to your shopping cart. An extra bonus is that this album features my pal Tim Connolly’s band The Epoxies.

Way to go, Tim!

On a related note, last month, Pete Castles and I attended the Davis stop of the PunkVoter Tour, which is the promotional vehicle for Rock Against Bush. Excellent show, though the anti-Bush message of the event was lost on some decidedly moronic Davis cowpunks.

Big ups to Fat Mike of NOFX for leading this effort. More about PunkVoter and Rock Against Bush here.


Tuesday, April 27, 2004

For Good Luck? 

The man who takes orders from God has a head-rubbing fetish.

Courtesy of Atrios


The Liberation of Iraq 

What a ceasefire looks like in BushCo’s world.


American Taliban 

BushCo* wants to ban low-rise jeans.

Could the imposition of these be far behind?

*Note: "BushCo" is a reference to Codpiece and all of his allies.


Open Thread 

Kinda busy today. Feel free to chime in on whatever.... NBA, BushCo, stuff you'd like to see on this site, etc.





Hey, Kerry, the Goods on BushCo are Sitting on a Platter 

Here’s a good start .


What the hell are you waiting for?

Start pounding!


Monday, April 26, 2004

Black Bush 

This clip from Chappelle’s Show is hilarious (requires speedy connection).


“The Man” 

If you don’t have the time or care to read Bob Woodward’s Plan of Attack, Eric Alterman provides some lowlights here.

Here’s a sample:

For foreign policy purposes, Dick Cheney is President: Cheney wanted this war from way back when; it was Bush who needed convincing. As Slate's Tim Noah points out, "The closest Woodward comes to showing Bush making a final decision is when Bush pulls Rumsfeld aside in early January 2003 and says, 'Look, we're going to have to do this I'm afraid. I don't see how we're going to get him to a position where he will do something in a manner that's consistent with the UN requirements, and we've got to make an assumption that he will not.'" When the President is not around, Administration officials refer to Cheney as "the Man," as in, "The Man wants this" or "The Man thinks that."


Freak Watch 

Ever seen the Freak Watchers Textbook?

If you haven’t, I hope you don’t have much work to do today. Here’s a couple samples, which don’t even begin to scratch the surface.


Common Names: Iron Mike | Blue Collar

Scientific Name: Derilectus americanus

Geographical Range: Most of the Midwest

Age: 52

Description: Underfed, underpaid, undereducated and overdrunk.

Habits: Second only to the BillyBob in sheer number of Jerry Springer appearances.

The Iron Mike is named, not for his strength, but for his cast iron stomach which must withstand a constant barrage of cheap alcohol, spoiled 7-11 burritos, warm canned beer and "poontang."

The one redeeming quality of the Iron Mike is, despite continual hangovers, he keeps a steady stream of low-paying temporary jobs that he gets from Labor-Ready -- an employment agency for the unemployable. None of these positions are particularly desirable, but he makes do.

The alcohol helps.

With no retirement pay to look forward to, the Iron Mike generally wills himself to die on his 55th birthday. How this is accomplished is a mystery, but it often involves drugs, Mexican strippers and a goat.


Common Name: Midwestern Crackwhore

Scientific Name: Morbus festivae

Geographical Range: Gutters, alleys and anywhere men appear to have eighteen cents to spare.

Age: no one cares

Description: As bipeds go, the Midwestern Crackwhore is one of the least appealing to look at or endure listening to. Crackwhores have anywhere between six and nine brown, scaly "teeth" and usually can be identified by a deranged, psychopathic expression on their faces.

Hair is greasy, tangled and often resembles the kelp forests of the deep Pacific in both appearance and odor.

Crackwhores give off strong musks, not to mark territory, but because they stink. Being downwind of a flock of Crackwhores is said to smell like a cross between a wino that has been set afire and a beached sperm whale in direct sunlight.

Habits: Solicitation from men is the preferred method of employment for the Midwestern Crackwhore. Many of them still show vestiges of faded beauty from their youth. But that was many vials ago. Now most of them spend their days "gutter-diving," hallucinating about "seeing a grain o' rock down there" and attempting unsuccessfully to scam money.

Through a well-balanced diet of Taco Bell, Crack, Mesc, X, Crank, Parachute, Lebanese Blonde, Everclear, Drano, White-Out and Wino Semen, the Crackwhore has an energy supply that would make the Common Shrew seem positively docile.

The Crackwhore is capable of reproduction through some sick joke on Nature's part. The children are destined for an action-packed life of starvation, neglect and beatings until age six when the thoughtful mother has them committed to a state hospital or sells them at fair market value to the local pornographer.

More here. But beware the Dumper.


Why Can’t Billy Joel Drive? 

Jeez, man.



That's the number of American troops killed in Iraq in April, all because of a moron who hears voices in his head.

I also learned this morning that 1 in 4 troop deaths in Iraq could have been prevented had the proper equipment been provided.

Where the hell is Kerry on this?

He's allowing himself, a war hero, to be defined as a traitor by a fratboy deserter and his chickenhawk allies. My patience grows thin with this guy.

Hey John, you can start your campaign any time now.


Sunday, April 25, 2004



Someone please convince me that this enlightened soul does not represent a broad demographic in this country.

Anyone care to move to New Zealand?


Terrorists March on Washington 


You think I jest? Senior BushCo pit-bull Karen Hughes seems to think so.

Must be read to be believed.


This Confirms It 

Dick “Darth Vader” Cheney is running
the show.


Saturday, April 24, 2004

He Shall be Known Here as "Codpiece" 

If you need further explanation, click here or here or here.


Friday, April 23, 2004

More Bad News For BushCo 

In case you hadn’t already heard, Michael Moore’s next film, Fahrenheit 911, will be released this summer. The film is about “the Bush family, their extensive connection with the Bin Laden family, and the environment within the USA post Sept 11.”

But I don’t think BushCo should worry too much about this. Moore’s last film really tanked .


Preznit Give Me Turkee 

This is a bit dated, but it’s an absolutely hilarious rip on the Bush-suckling White House press corps. Trace your memory back to Dumbya’s “surprise” Thanksgiving trip to Iraq.

It was created by Atrios


Some Things I’d Like to Get off My Chest 

Kerry does not need a conservative Bush Republican on the ticket to win. What kind of defeatist crap is this? I mean, really.

And this lying criminal is not a “moderate voice" in a "conservative" administration. He does not deserve our pity for being "misled" by the more "hawkish elements" in the White House. He is a full-fledged and enthusiastic member of an unelected cabal of neoconservative maniacs.

And the world needs to be rid of this piece of human garbage.

Okay, I feel better now.

Happy Friday!


Friday Comics 



Essential Reading 

I really can’t imagine a day that doesn’t start with Buzzflash, your one-stop source for news and commentary about the nightmare that is BushCo.

Speaking of essential reading, Josh Marshall and Atrios are all over the Friday news dump (i.e., BushCo’s consistent pattern of releasing bad news on Fridays in the hopes that no one is watching).

So sick of this shit.


Mark Morford: The Prophet 

You think I exaggerate? Allow me to convert you with this and this.

If you haven’t already done so, make sure to sign up for Mark’s Morning Fix!



So I'm watching CNN this morning, and I hear a statement that nearly caused me to shower my morning paper with coffee. It was so absurd that I wrote it down so I could provide the exact quote.

"The President and his brother [Florida Governor, Jeb Bush] plan to roll up their sleeves and do some wetland work today."


Wetland work, eh?

Rollin’ up their sleeves.

Damn! Between stringin' all that barbed wire at the Crawford "ranch" and saving wetlands, I don't see how this man has the time to govern. Of course, he gets plenty of help and advice from God, so that lightens the load. But, jeez.

And here I was buying into the myth that this administration's environmental policies are the worst in modern history, written almost exclusively by its paymasters in the coal, oil, energy, and timber industries.

Boy was I dumb. Thanks CNN!


Thursday, April 22, 2004

Well, The Baathists Weren’t That Bad 

I mean, excluding all those rape rooms and torture chambers they operated, they’re pretty decent cats. Shit, our government put them in business in the first place.

The White House confirmed Thursday that the administration is moving to change a postwar policy that blocked members of Saddam Hussein's Baath Party from Iraqi government and military positions.

The sweeping ban was put in place by civilian administrator Paul Bremer, but he now wants to change the policy as part of an effort to convince Sunnis, who dominate the party, that they are welcome members of the postwar political transition in Iraq.

Question: How will Rush, Hannity, O’Reilly, and the rest of the faithful spin this?


Oh, That is Good ! 



You Know Whom I Don’t Like? 

This defective asshole.


The brilliant Mark Morford has more.


Iraqi Fast Food (or The Rapid Degeneration of a Blog) 

By popular request (okay, Steve Fisch asked me to post these), and at the risk of offending, allow me to present to you the Scott Underhill (funniest guy I know) list of Iraqi fast food items. Please address your comments, suggestions, and patriotically inspired death threats to Scott. I’m just the messenger.

The Sunni Sunrise breakfast sandwich

Baghdad Weinerschnitzel's new Shiite Dog w/ Insurgent sauce!

The new Charbroiled Fallujah melt combo with zesty Tikrit fries!

Karbala's Jr. Charbroiled Rooster Salad!

Baghdad McDonalds New Big Moq hamburger w/ melted Tangy Fedayeen cheese

KFC - Karbala Fried Chicken - 7 locations throughout central and southern Baghdad complete with Bombed out Fallujah playland including "the Hanging Bridge" - fun for the whole regime!

McSaddam's Happy meal w/your choice of Fedayeen action figures or mini chemical weapons kit

WMcD's over 10 million hidden

Jack in the Mosque

Cleric in the Box

Nasariyah Nachos w/ Sadr sauce

Popeyatolla's Fried Chicken w/ 5 locations in and around Eastern Baghdad featuring the New Condoleeza Fried Rice bowl w/ a side of hamhocks and your choice of tangy Mosul or zesty Ranch Insurgence sauce -- Starts Thursday!

The new $6 Dinar Burger at Karbala's Jr. - if it doesn't blow up all over the place it doesn't belong in your face!

McSaddam's 9 piece Kurd McNuggets with your choice of Uday or Qday sauce - and for limited time only get the Kurd McNuggets Coalition combo, including spicy Kirkuk fries a regular size Amonium Nitrate drink with Uranium yellow cake dessert pie and receive a free Donald Rumsfeld action figure with Karate chop action!

Bonus (with credit to Thimi Saites)

Haliburton's Pizza featuring our signature special "The Big Cheney!" And for limited time only order our "Bunker Buster" special: 2 Big Cheney's a side of Salsa Pork Rinds and a liter bottle of Five Alive for limited time only!


Army of Trees 

My band, Army of Trees, played what I would consider a rather rough show last Friday night. Nonetheless, we got a small but favorable mention in the Sacramento News & Review.

The name Army of Trees has appeared several times in this column in the past year, and its presence on the Mothspy bill was welcome. The band continues to be impressive--melodic and fun grunge music with a decidedly pop, 1960s, melodic vibe.

Sac People: AOT is playing this Saturday night at The Distillery. We’re the first band on the bill, which includes The Bananas and Visqueen (members of The Fastbacks). C’mon out. We’ll have plenty of CDs on hand and some new tunes for ya.’ The show will start around 9:30.


Open NBA Thread 

In a shameful attempt to jumpstart this blog's comments feature, I'm asking that you weigh in on the NBA playoffs. Seeing as I have directed both Kings and Lakers fans to this site, here's your chance give voice to your hate.

C'mon Pete, I know you're out there. Tell us about your feelings on Shaq.


Dueling ‘Nam Records 

"I request duty in Vietnam"

--John Kerry

“Daddy, get me the hell out of this!”



Idiot Messiah “President” and Advisors Rely On Body Language to Formulate Policy 

Today’s column from the indispensable Maureen Dowd is friggin’ terrifying.

Like his father, Mr. Bush prefers more elemental means of self-expression than the verbal. (Not long before the first gulf war, Bush senior's masseuse told a client that the president's neck was so tight, she assumed we were going to war.)

The younger Bush, suspicious of Clintonesque dialectical fevers and interminable analyses, did not bother to ask most of his top advisers what they thought. The less Dick Cheney talked, the more power Mr. Bush entrusted in him.

Like the silent, cool-hand cowboy he aspires to be, who would shoot a man just because he didn't like the way the varmint was looking at him, the president preferred doing gut checks, visually sizing up advisers and Saddam, rather than dwelling on pesky facts.


The president explained to Mr. Woodward that he had wanted to talk to Tommy Franks in person about the Iraq war plan. " `I'm watching his body language very carefully,' Mr. Bush recalled. He emphasized the body language, the eyes, the demeanor. It was more important than some of the substance. . . . `Is this good enough to win?' he recalled asking Franks, leaning forward in his chair and throwing his hand forward in a slicing motion at my face to illustrate the scene."


When George Tenet was telling a dubious president that the W.M.D. "evidence" would be there when he needed it, he knew how to physically underscore his point. "Tenet, a basketball fan who attended as many home games of his alma mater Georgetown as possible, leaned forward and threw his arms up again. `Don't worry, it's a slam-dunk!' "

When the president at long last informed his top diplomat that he was going to war, Colin Powell could tell from the president's body language that there was no point in arguing: "It was the assured Bush. His tight, forward-leaning, muscular body language verified his words."


Soon, these people had the problem of the body language of more than 700 dead soldiers. Some persuasive non-body language is way overdue.

Comforting thought for the day: These guys have the keys to the nukes.


Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Woodward Not Helping the Cause 

I’ve been watching Bob Woodward make the cable “news” rounds all week, selling his new book, Plan of Attack, which is being touted as oh-so-damaging to BushCo (Chris Matthews of Hardball referred to it as a grenade thrown into the Oval Office, or something to that effect). But damn if “Woody” (as Dumbya lovingly refers to Woodward) is not pushing—underneath some genuinely damning revelations in the book— the infuriatingly popular narrative of Bush the Strong. This was the theme of Woodward’s last book, Bush at War, which could fairly be characterized a BushCo propaganda piece. I think Woodward is painting Bush in a falsely romantic light; as if this reckless frat boy idiot with a messiah complex is some flawed but compelling—or even complex—real-time historical figure. It’s sad to see the guy who helped blow the lid off of Watergate promote an obscured and truly counterproductive assessment of this imbecile “president,” who is really just a figurehead for a seriously dangerous movement.


Those Enlightened FOX Viewers 

This from an article by John Doyle of The Globe and Mail via Altercation
I've never been called ''a douche-nozzle'' before. At least, not that I know about anyway. The insult came from one supporter of the Fox News Channel. But then I don't think The Globe and Mail has ever been called ''the far-left Toronto Globe and Mail'' before. That's what this great newspaper was called by Bill O'Reilly on the Fox News Channel on Monday night.

Reacting to my column, which cheerfully suggested that the proposal to bring the Fox News Channel to Canada should be acted upon promptly, so that we can all take a look, and get a laugh, O'Reilly gave us a Fox-style whacking. In his segment The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day, he quoted from my column (which called him "pompous"), dismissed The Globe as a lefty outfit and said, "Hey you pinheads up there, I may be pompous, but at least I'm honest."


Spurred by O'Reilly's remarks, dozens of Fox News viewers wrote to me.


I lost count of the number of times I was called "an a**hole." It was at least 43 times, anyway. I was called "a pussy," "a wussy," "a pr**k," "a jerk," "a hack" and "a creep." A man in Cleveland not only called me "an a**hole" but also wished me a "f***ed-up day." A lady -- and I use the term advisedly -- in Colorado wrote to say that all Canadians are "a**holes" and then ordered me not to visit her state. I was also called a Canadian numerous times, as if that were an automatic and withering insult.

In an nice touch, a man from somewhere-in-the-USA opened by cheerfully calling me "sonny bub" and, after some confusing name-calling that involved the word "intellectual," he rose to a great rhetorical flourish -- he asked if I had served in Vietnam! Nothing of the sort has ever come from viewers of Newsworld, CTV Newsnet, CNN, MSNBC or, indeed ROB-TV. My point was that we have a great deal to learn from the Fox News Channel. And I am proved right. Talking to Americans is always a tonic. Bring on Fox News and bring it fast. Let's see this thing that has so many ardent and incredibly aggressive viewers.

The O’Reilly brownshirt brigades are a sharp bunch, eh?

No better way to blow one of them fancy intellectual journalists out of the water than to call him a "wussy."


I'm a Blogger! 


Check this out!

I now have my own blog!!

Steve Hilton helped me come up with the name. Thanks, Steve!

Hmmm…. Let’s see if this link function works.


List of essential sites.


Please bookmark this site and check it daily. I’ll try to post some cool shit for y'all.

Until then….