SmithAntics

From the Top 10 Conservative Idiots .

4. Dick Cheney. Since George W. Bush entered the White House in 2001, he has enforced a strict dress code. Gone are the carefree Clinton days of blue jeans and sweaters - once Bush came to power he made it abundantly clear that if you're working in the halls of power, you need to dress the part. Unfortunately what's good for White House staffers apparently isn't good for vice presidents attending extremely somber memorial services. Yes, Dick Cheney showed up at the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz looking as if he's just taken his dog for a walk in the woods. In contrast to the respectful garb of the other attendees, his wife included, Dick sported a green parka with his name embroidered on it, a ski hat which said "Staff 2001" (staff for what, the Winter X-Games?) and a pair of brown hiking boots. Classy...

Somehow this one slipped under my radar last week. Oh my god!

Read this post to the tune of the Twilight Zone, which should be the theme song for every American corporate news broadcast--especially today.

Oh my god, it's really baaaaad.

But credit where credit is due.

The media poodles are outdoing themselves today, bless their whoring, Orwellian hearts.

On bended knee Wolf Blitzer took Karl Rove's member into his mouth, suckled, and regurgitated the Master's message.

Today I heard no fewer than three times the sham elections in Halliburtonistan compared to…

Oh God, this is rich…

Wait for it...

“1776”

Weeeeeeee!

Scratch the Twilight Zone theme. Change that tune to Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Yes, the shameless clown hacks on CNN and MSGOP (no, I’m not masochistic enough to turn on FOX) are positively gushing over this “Historic Day.”

And let me be totally blunt.

If you believe in any way, shape, or form that…

What happened in Iraq over the past couple of days had anything to do with democracy…

That Iraqis are on the road to self-governance and control over their country's resources (i.e., their oil)...

That anything less than a U.S. puppet regime will be permitted in Baghdad…

That this entire misadventure was not waged strictly for the benefit of BushCo-connected weapons, oil, and construction contractors and neocon zionist lunatics...

That anything — ANYTHING — BushCo touches (including the Iraqi “elections”) is not 100 percent poison…

You have strayed too close to the Kool-Aid wagon. Step away immediately.

But I know you, Smithantics reader, are not so gullible as to believe that something good has just happened in Iraq.

You are not taken in by pretty pictures.

You are impervious to Psy-ops.

You know better.

Bless you.

Too busy to blog for the next couple days. Back next week, after the "elections."

Shudder.

From the Boston Globe:

WASHINGTON -- The Army for the first time is placing women in support units at the front lines of combat because of a shortage of skilled male soldiers available for duty in Iraq and is considering a repeal of the decade-old rule that prohibits women from being deployed alongside combat forces, according to Pentagon officials and military documents.

So the bed-shitters are running out of men?

Perhaps some of the Bush-suckling, false-macho, male shitheads in this country, who like to proclaim that “freedom isn’t free” should sack up and go to Baghdad.

Just a thought.

If you are not able to stream this talk by the best investigative journalist in the business, please read the transcript.

Jaysus.

Asshole.

Alterman asks:

Does the guy who writes MSNBC’s Question of the Day work for Karl Rove? Here is yesterday’s:

Do you think Democrats are playing politics with Condoleezza Rice's nomination?

Here’s how a non-partisan journalist might have posed it.

Do you think the senate should reward Condoleezza Rice’s combination of incompetence, dishonesty and refusal to admit mistakes and learn from them with America’s most prestigious cabinet post?

Hey, Eric, we should expect nothing less from MSGOP, the communications ministry for the mothership of death.

So, let me get this straight.

The man who promised to restore honor and integrity to the White House is pinning blame on the Department of Education for paying Armstrong Williams to shill for the administration?

We’re supposed to believe this was a rogue operation (which included a payment of a quarter of a million dollars) conducted without approval from the Oval Office?

Karl Rove had no knowledge of this?

This is insulting on a cosmic level. It almost defies comment.

And then this fucking weasel takes a cheap shot at the outgoing Secretary of Education, saying, "We've got new leadership going to the Department of Education."

In other words, “This isn’t my fault, and we’re replacing the guy who fucked up.”

Just one problem here.

This is your fucking fault.

This was a White House-orchestrated swindle. You were using tax-payer money to secretly pay a journalist to spread administration propaganda, and now that this nefarious shit has been exposed, you—being the accountability guy that you are—are pinning the blame on a member of your Cabinet, as if he is somehow insulated from White House policy-making.

As if he acts independently.

As if anyone in your administration acts independently of Dick Cheney and Karl Rove.

What a vile piece of garbage this man is.

This —

One moment…we have breaking news….

I’m now receiving word of another rouge Cabinet department.

Developing….

Read

Jesus, I don’t know how many different ways I can restate or dress-up my astonishment and rage. But here goes.

We are surrounded by evangelical asshole imbeciles.

Fucking A!

How in the hell can this be happening?

This morning I saw a bumper sticker that said, “I Stand with George W. Bush.”

Wonderful.

“I Stand with the Lying, Smirking, War-Criminal, Fake Cowboy, Fake Christian, Enron-Enabling, Dick Cheney-Suckling Asshole who is Presiding Over the Darkest Chapter in American History.”

And the owner of the vehicle on which this vile sticker was pasted actually dresses himself, goes to work everyday, can read, can write…?

He’s buying this Bush swindle?

Still?

Is it material abundance that breeds this gargantuan idiocy?

Or is it a specifically American brand of intellectual laziness that enables the success of the cruel hoax that is BushCo?

We were lied into a war, and we are being lied into giving up our retirement security, our civil liberties, our reproductive rights, our environment….

Do facts no longer matter?

Not if you’re a Believer.

Do you have a friend or relative that is still buying this shit?

Is your mother or father an idiot?

Is it Grandpa?

Is he the imbecile?

Please send this article to the idiot(s) in your life.

You know, I thought Americans were a rather pissy lot—the kind of people that aren’t afraid to bitch and whine to the waitress if our hamburger isn’t cooked exactly to our liking, or if our exact expectations are not met in any sector of life.

But I guess I was wrong. We must be a nation of pushovers, who don’t seem to mind that our money is being flushed down the toilet for a fucking lie.

Go figure.

This is just bang on the money.

So the Evil Empire summoned The Ghoul from his putrid swamp of death-profiteering to do damage control on Dick Cheney’s war chant—as performed by the drugged puppet .

Count me as reassured.

I have removed Marshall’s Talking Points Memo from the “First Reads” list.

I take no pleasure in doing this. Marshall is an intelligent, insightful, and hardworking reporter/blogger with some serious sources inside the beltway. The man has broken some big stories, such as the White House exposure of CIA operative Valerie Plame (anyone remember that story?). He is also one of the first must-read bloggers I ever encountered. Shit, I used to check his site over ten times a day. And he continues to cover stories and issues of the utmost importance—such as the Social Security scam, his current obsession.

But damn, if he hasn’t gotten just boring as hell.

I’m just a bit to pissed off to follow the policy minutia that Marshall covers.

Bring on the GOD DAMN IMPEACHMENT.

Sorry, Josh.

They are not going to attack Iran.

No, no, this would be insanity.

Right?

This country is over.

Alterman surveys the devastation.

While I commend Senator Boxer for putting the screws to the window-dressing I like to refer to as Cheney’s bitch, don’t expect me to get all joyful and teary about it. The fact is that the Democratic Party is a diseased, crippled, corrupted joke—a corpse, really.

Stick a fork in it—then discard.

The opportunity for the Democratic Party to sprout a pair of testicles and mount a serious challenge to ThugCo has long since passed. So no, I’m not going to get all giddy about one seemingly principled senator’s post-mortem dance on the soap box. The game is over. Apart from our own noble gestures of dissent, all we can do is pray that some form of cosmic justice exists and that BushCo self-destructs.

Now, a word from The Prophet.

Welcome to the “Ownership Society”.

Allow me to introduce you to Boxkar, a rockin’ group of lads that will be performing at BushCo's inaugural festivities.

Tell me these guys aren’t totally edgy.

The singer is fucking gorgeous.

Is that a hobbit on the right? Cool!

I’m really stoked about this.

TBOGG has the details.

(Hey, but what about the Kid?)

Did ya’ hear?

She is expected to receive “tough questions” from the Democrats at her confirmation hearings tomorrow.

Yeeeeeesssss!

She is gonna get toasted!

I mean, just look at how BushCo’s entire agenda has been derailed by the Democratic leadership and their tough questions. They are ruthless.

Oooooooooh, this is gonna be good!

Fuck yes!

Giddy up!

Shit, we may even get this party started before Christmas.

(I wish I could take credit for the title of this post, but I can’t.)

Are you kidding me?

Good question.

Here’s the answer.

This is a brutal but necessary reality check. I recommend you forward it to any clueless assholes in your life who have yet to wake up to the fact that America is in a very, very dark place today.

Not so much lazy, as feeling decidedly amateurish in relation to the Big Boys of the left blogosphere. I’m also kinda busy. The first two posts are from the mighty Atrios, who should be read daily (the Atrios comment community is a hilarious universe unto itself — go ahead, dive into the comments on any of his posts).

The third post is from The Poor Man, who has become mandatory reading for me as well. The guy just shreds. In fact, he has taken Kevin Drum’s space on my “First Reads” list. Drum is insufficiently outraged and just too damn wonkish. He has therefore been demoted to the “Other Essentials” list. If he continues to treat Bush as anything less than a war criminal, he’s outta here. Liebermanesque centrist capitulations will not be tolerated. Centrism? Give me a fucking break. This is war. You don't compromise with Nazis. Duh?

Anyway, onto the Big Boys.

Boom

Boom

Boom.

Regarding the Bush Evil Empire campaign to destroy Social Security (dismantle the entire public realm, really):

Obviously, I don’t have the knowledge to talk nuts and bolts about this thing. I direct you to the eminently qualified economist Paul Krugman for that.

In fact, just consult any respectable economist (i.e., one not on the administration payroll) to determine whether Social Security is in danger of going under.

Be aware, however, that BushCo is rolling out an Iraq-has-WMD-scale campaign to sell the American public the lie that Social Security is going to go “flat bust” if we don’t allow them to “fix” it.

But, guess what? They are lying. I know...hard to believe.

Social Security will be solvent for decades, and, with minor modifications, can remain solvent forever.

Period.

But you know their MO: they repeat, repeat, and repeat again flat out lies until they become “reality.” And it works!

This is precisely what we can expect in the coming days, weeks, months regarding the Social Security “crisis.”

This campaign of deception will employ the awesome financial muscle of Wall Street and the loud and effective bullhorn that is the public relations industry.

The former stands to make trillions of dollars on fund management fees (this is the driving force behind the push for privatization).

The latter, the PR industry, is a multi-billion-dollar propaganda arm of right wing state-corporate power (if that sounds ominously conspiratorial to you, I direct you another distinguished scholar).

The PR firms are collecting atronomical, tax-payer-subsidized fees to hawk the fake crisis. Believe it.

And, of course, the mass media will be on board.

An army of administration shills (television, radio, and print) will be employed to drum into our consciousness the impending collapse of the most successful social program in history.

And the imbecile-in-chief will use the bully pulpit to advocate for his Wall Street benefators. God, it's so fucking obvious.

So, please...

Do not allow them to turn this into a “debate.” There is no debate.

Don't be lured into this hall of mirrors.

The liars are lying again. And they have major media firepower—again.

Educate the numbskulls in your life who are susceptible to BushCo lies.

Tell them to consider the source.

Christ, here we go again.

He’s the next contestant in the Department of Fatherland Security sweepstakes.

And he’s a vicious little scumbag.

He’ll fit right in with the other blood-drinkers—Cheney, Rummy, and Gonzo.

Um, could we have the street thug back? At least he made me laugh.

Now I'm just scared.

One of the most under-publicized outrages of this enormous bed-shitting episode is that BushCo enabled the mass pilfering of the most precious antiquities in the world. Thanks to these lying, incompetent idiots, thousands of artifacts from the earliest human civilizations have been disappeared, destroyed, or dispersed into a giant swap meet.

What’s next? Is Halliburton going to set up shop in the Great Pyramids?

You’ve got to hand it to these guys. When they fuck up, the fuck up everything.

More here. Congrats to friend of Smithantics Tom Strasser for making his voice heard on this incredibly important issue.

In the present unreality, the CBS firings bolster to two wingnut fantasies:

The existence of the liberal media

and

Bush’s honorable service in the Texas Air National Guard.

Thanks, CBS, you fucking nimrods.

What a lovely takedown:

It's going to break Norman Podhoretz's peach-pit heart, but it will soon become time to recognize the inevitable and blow the whistle on the World War IV he and the neocons have been so determined to wage. At some point Dick Cheney will place a fatherly paw on Dubya's shoulder and say, "Earth to Captain Video: Time to bug out--I mean, withdraw in an orderly fashion." It's going to be hard breaking the news to the little fella.

Speaking of takedowns, Bob Herbert just tears the bed-shitters a new one.

This oughta win more hearts and minds.

The Pentagon is considering forming hit squads of Kurdish and Shia fighters to target leaders of the Iraqi insurgency in a strategic shift borrowed from the American struggle against left-wing guerrillas in Central America 20 years ago.

Under the so-called “El Salvador option”, Iraqi and American forces would be sent to kill or kidnap insurgency leaders, even in Syria, where some are thought to shelter.

Of course, we can expect these operations to be carried out with the legality and respect for human rights employed in similar operations in Latin America, Asia, and Africa during the Cold War.

So a few million innocents—including nuns and small children—are slaughtered indiscriminately by vicious murderers on the CIA payroll.

It’s the War on Terror, baby.

More here.

It’s rather lazy of me to simply repost here what other bloggers say. But this quote from the Poor Man-- via Atrios--just perfectly analogizes the disaster these maniacs walked us into:

I don’t have a single idea for how we can un-shit the bed, and I don’t hold out much hope that this whole bed-shitting episode is ever going to be brought to a lemony-fresh conclusion. I do, however, know who shit the bed.

Indeed.

Yet legions of brain-dead Bushidiots are content to slumber in the soiled sheets of denial, continuing to buy the narrative of Bush the kick-ass cowboy for Christ.

This country is paying dearly for their idiocy.

I guess being a propaganda tool for a white supremacist regime doesn’t pay after all.

In fact, it got my shameful hack ass fired.

Shit, Shit, Shit!

This is deeply troubling—on many levels.

In fact, just ignore this post. Go back to whatever you were doing.

In the meantime, perhaps some higher intelligence will just vaporize this country.

Don’t know what this means?

It has infected American life.

It's fucking infuriating.

It must be squashed.

Click here to find out what it is.

Haven’t registered for the NYT? It’s free and takes just seconds.

A fine idea.

Here’s how to start one in your town.

(Sac region people: Anyone interested?)

Do you know me?

As White House Counsel I wrote legal memos that aimed to justify this and this and this.

I’m a very bad guy.

I’m also going to be your new Attorney General, because the Democrats continue to quiver in puddles of fear-induced urine.

See ya’ around.

Last night, Mike Malloy referred to Poppy Bush as a “ghoul.”

This is an apt characterization.

I mean, just look at him. He is positively ghoulish.

But he is also a ghoul in the literal sense of the word.

For Poppy is a principal in the shadowy defense industry investment house— The Carlyle Group, which makes a fortune on death .

So he slithered out of his lair to make nice about the Tsunami.

I have no doubt Poppy and his cotterie of death pimps will profit handsomely from this human disaster. After all, they cleaned up on 9-11, Afghanistan, and Iraq.

Merriam-Webster defines a ghoul as an “evil being [that] feeds on corpses.”

This is also a good definition for a war-profiteering piece of human garbage like Poppy Bush.

God, I fucking hate these people.

The man simply shreds.

I am in awe.

I haven’t had time to blog today, but it's imperative that I link this page.

Oh, and I’m expecting a new guest poster to chime in.

Viking, you out there? Sound off like you’ve got a pair.

And he was a leader in the fight against the privatization of Social Security.

This sucks.

Only the bloggers notice.

And it is no small lie to inflate the initial aid offering by $20 million.

God dammit.